Time to Be Still

BUSY = Being Under Satan's Yoke

Yes I've been busy...
In fact, it's been crazy and very unhealthy.

Physically : Insufficient sleep and I rely on foods high in glucose, just to keep moving.

Mentally: I'm stoning in the middle of conversations and tend to go, "Sorry, come again?"

Spiritually: I've been neglecting my role as CGL... I've come up with a million and one excuses to justify my poor performance, but honestly... They're all poor excuses for an excuse...
Been falling asleep during service too... Not to mention procrastinating and forgetting my QT...
I'm so sorry Lord...

Emotionally: Wellll... I don't know... I think I'm doing fine for now... But when I sit myself down to think about it... I think I'm just running away from stuff...

What have I been busy with... You ask?

Work-wise...
It's been tough, but it ain't a chore.
One Saturday was simply nuts... (pun not intended)
After having a Floorball League Match (which we WON!) in the morning, it was off to work till 3+am!! And I had Church service the next day too...
By the way, I'm a Scoopy at Ben & Jerry's...at Dempsey Hill!
My job is to ensure you get the BEST ice-cream experience in the world!
So... drop-by sometime...
Tue - Thurs (11am - 5pm)
Weekends... it really depends...

I know what I must do.
Clear instructions I had gotten in fact...

Sit...
Pray...
Sort out my life...
Basically... Be Still and know He's God...

One thing I could do less of....
Clubbing...
Although I really want to...
I've got to get the important stuff settled first.

Time for family...
Time for church family...
Time for rest...
Time for understanding...
Time for nature...
Time to reflect... (no mirrors involved!)
Time to be content...

It's time to Prioritise baby!! (no discrimination intended...)

What if I Stumble?

[the greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is christians who acknowledge jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.]

"Is this one for the people?
Is this one for the lord?
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame

Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need your love in their lives
Compromise is calling

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?

Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me
Or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose
On the narrow road youve carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar

Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt Im feeling

What if I stumble?
Everyones got to crawl when you know that
Youre up against a wall, its about to fall
Everyones got to crawl when you know that

I hear you whispering my name [you say]
My love for you will never change [never change]

What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You never turn in the heat of it all
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You are my comfort, and my god..."

-D.C Talk-

This Will Kill

What will kill?

It'll be the lack of sleep that will kill me I tell you...
It's not that I've got not enough time to nap.
It's not exactly forced late nights (although clubbing does not help here).

It's my BODY-CLOCK!

For some weird reason, I've been getting up at 7.30am - 8+am every single morning.
This, regardless of what time I go to bed.
Take for example, 2 nights ago.
I went to bed at 6.15AM and still got up at 8+AM...
And...
That very night, went to bed at 1AM, only to get up this morning at 8am...

I'm so physically tired...
Mentally... still wanting to get things done.
I can feel my body preparing a rebellion though...

This is so not healthy...

Missing You...

Have you ever missed someone so much that you just stopped in your tracks, literally, and physically craved their presence?

Have you craved for something so much that it invades your day-dreams and nights?

I know I have...

Anyway...
Got stopped at a Traffic Police Road Block last night...

Was just telling Mel how much I wanted to be stopped...
Then it happened!
Thank Goodness I totally stayed off alcohol...
I know a little won't be bad, but it's just a promise I made to my Dad and to myself.
When driving, DON'T DRINK!

How the whole night of no-drinking went?

Started at Zouk...
The Mambo music and crowd was not good.
Just was not feeling it.
In fact, was not feeling anything.
Where did all the good-looking people go?

Then since Phuture was packed...
Off we went to MOS...

Honestly... it was not that great either...
Music was erratic, with the good stuff coming in gobs, then going just as quickly.
BUT
It was Mel's and Prissy's 1st time at both Zouk and MOS!
Haha...
Wished it would have been better, but at least it's something.

I miss you...
But my priorities should lie somewhere else for now...
My time is no longer mine to dictate.
I've dedicated it to someone who knows so much more than I do.
I feel safe now...

El - Shaddai

My new favourite Song...

El-Shaddai

El-Shaddai, El-Shaddai [means "God Almighty, God Almighty"]
El-Elyon na Adonai [means "God in the highest, Oh, Lord"]
Age to age, You're still the same
By the power of the name.
El-Shaddai, El-Shaddai
Erkamka na Adonai [means "We will love You, Oh, Lord"]
We will praise and lift You high
El-Shaddai

Through Your love
And through the ram,
You saved the son of Abraham.
Through the power of Your hand,
Turned the sea into dry land.
To the outcast
On her knees,
You were the God
Who really sees.
And by Your might,
You set Your children free

Through the years,
You made it clear,
That the time of Christ
Was near,
Though the people
Couldn't see
What Messiah ought to be.
Though Your Word
Contained the plan,
They just could not understand,
Your most awesome work was done
Though the frailty of Your son.

El-Shaddai, El-Shaddai
El-Elyon na Adonai
Age to age, You're still the same
By the power of the name.
El-Shaddai, El-Shaddai
Erkamka na Adonai
I will praise you till I die
El-Shaddai

This by Amy Grant - The Collection 1986
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-EGzskcdp0
Check it out...

Name Game

M : best kisser ever.
I : You Are Great in bed.
C : You are really silly.
H : You have a very good personality and looks.
E : Damn good kisser.
L : Everyone loves you.
L : Everyone loves you.
E : Damn good kisser.

T: You're loyal to those who love you.
A : You Like To Drink.
N: You like to drink.

S : Easy to fall in love with.
U : You really like to chill.
-
Y : Best g/f b/f anyone could ever ask for.
U : You really like to chill.

Haha!
You try!

A : You Like To Drink.
B : You like people.
C : You are really silly.
D : You like to drink.
E : Damn good kisser.
F : You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You have a very good personality and looks.
I : You Are Great in bed.
J : People Adore you.
K : You're wild and crazy.
L : Everyone loves you.
M : best kisser ever.
N: You like to drink.
O: awesome kisser.
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
R : You like people.
S : Easy to fall in love with.
T: You're loyal to those who love you.
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgemental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : Best g/f b/f anyone could ever ask for.
Z : Always ready

Blope...

Man...
It's been nuts today...

Nope...not so much office work but I spent a majority of my time rushing!!

1st: Rushed to work this morning...
Not because I woke up late or anything, but because I had no space in my room and also... a traffic jam did not help.

2nd: Rushed from work to Dempsey Rd during lunch!
This for an interview with the people at Ben and Jerry's.
I'm not jumping about the pay, but it's not rocket science anyway...

3rd: Rushed back to China Sq...
I think I'll have to clock my lunch time as 2hrs today... Dammit...

I've definitely got to rush home before cell today...
Wonder if I'll get the car...
I'm wondering even harder who will come for cell today.
Sometimes... *sighs in frustration*
I don't know... I see myself getting a little bitter over this.
I really feel a loss of freedom with this position.
It's 'what-I-should-do' versus 'what-I-want-to-do'

Whoever said that we are the 'free people of the world' should really re-think it.
We are bound by rules we don't set.
We are held in check by expectations.
We are kept in line by our own expectations, morality, spirituality and physical ability.

The rules that we set for ourselves are the ones we are most likely to break and the ones that would cost us more heartache to surrender.

Maybe I'm just being emotional this day...
Friday the 13th...
Ah well...
I pray for patience, I pray for strength, I pray...

Granny in the House!

My Tweety-Granny is staying at my humble abode...
Yup...

The Grand-lady who basically brought me up.
I love her...

Ok...
But staying in a small place does have its disadvantages...
Like...
I can't use my dressing table now because her lounge chair is in the way.
I can't blow my hair dry in my room before work because I'll wake her up.
I can't pick what to wear while throwing my 'have-tries' on the bed in frustration...
I've also lost my bed to her.

Well... it's a teeny price to pay for her company.
I don't really mind...
But...
Something else is bothering me.
In fact, I've been having too freakin much to think about.
It's driving me nuts.

Last night, while thinking about how much I had to deal with, I downed 2 cans of beer.
Now, that terrifies me.
I've never before turned to alcohol to de-stress.
In fact, when I had more to deal with, I actually, physically craved for Chivas...(yes...after the beer!)
That can't be good.

I can't even talk about my issues now.
I don't want to...
Argh...
And I had a dream that felt so so so real.
I can't stop thinking about that too.

Pooh...I don't know...
On the other hand... I think I've become more dedicated to God.
Is that a contradiction or what?!

Hm...
I need food...
Maybe I'll get me a Spring Chicken later... (Honey-glazed...sweeeeeet...)

Often Lost...

Ducky is right...
I almost always lose my way.

First day of work today and I lost my way to China Square Central.
Alighted only a stop too early and managed to walk a huge round to get to the building that was right behind me.

Driving...
After dropping some friends off at Yishun, managed to get all the way to some really 'ulu' part of Woodlands before speeding past a sneakily parked police car (CRAP!) and getting back to Upper Thomson...
Also, taking about an hour to get to Holland Village (going down from Upper Thomson again...)
Now honestly...

Of course, have to pat myself on the back for having the guts to drive to a place I've never been, armed only with a street directory I can't read and some advice from wiser people.
Should I get lost, I turn the stereo up (to prevent myself from hearing my cussing and swearing), say a little prayer, then following my instincts (they don't call them in-stinks for nothing).
I'll reach my destination in good time.

I just realised today that this is my approach to life.
This 'Let's go' attitude and 'We'll solve the problems when they come' philosophy.
Is it good? Is it bad?
I don't rightly know.

Now, it could be a strength or a terrible weakness.
Suddenly, a whole lot of 'results' from my previous 'actions' make sense.

What do we always hear?
It's the journey, not the destination...
Or something like that...

I'm wiser now.
But not arrogant about it.
Because I sure know a whole lot less than almost everyone else.
But...
I'll have fun trying to find out.
My life...
Is an Adventure......

Easier Said

Dear Lord,

All that I am, I lay down before you.
Do what you will.
I'm a willing instrument.
I'm a living sacrifice and here I offer you my life.
I trust you.

All that is really easier said than done.
I'm going to try.
Total trust is having no doubts.

It's hard Lord, but I trust you.
Be with me...

Wait

I'm so relieved...
Actually cried during quiet time last night.
I'm so grateful.

So many things have happened...

I've said 'yes' to something.
Now I'll see where God leads me.

I'll 'wait' as God instructs...
Prissy? I'll tell you about it soon.

The league is starting soon and you bet I'll strive to be one of the best.
Help me to help you people!

My Uncle has just passed away from cancer.
Lungs and liver...

It's going to be a busy week.

I'm grateful for the people around me.
Call your loved ones, give them a hug.
Some things you can wait for, some things you should never let till later.