Bring a little cheer...

So life is pretty easy now...

But while enjoying this peace, one really should not take life for granted.

I went to visit some terminally ill patients at a hospice today...
All of these patients are suffering from cancer.
Whether it is the 1st or the last stage of cancer, there was a definite heaviness to the air there because they, and the rest of us know that they're waiting to die...

I know death will come to everyone someday and in some form, but to actually be given a limit of time to live?
Maybe I'd rather not know.
Then like everyone else, it'll come as a surprise, and God knows, I love surprises.

On second thoughts, knowing how much time I have left can be a blessing.
I won't leave my family and friends with unfinished business, I get to properly plan my departure like I'm going on a extended holiday to a place called Heaven, which is paradise I hear...

I don't know...

The patients at this particular hospice are all adults.
They looked like your regular 70 to 90 year old grandparents, just that they are, in actual fact, in their 40s to 60s...
Some were wearing those famed 'jap tourist' caps because of their loss of hair due to chemo...
I was told that the really skinny ones, the ones that looked like they could dodge raindrops, were already nearing their end...

I don't think that last bit of information helped at all...
While seeing them smile and laugh, I was already thinking of what awaited them...
It was heartbreaking...

While Mom was giving them leg massages, Jeremy and I organised Bingo for them.
Being Singapore, the numbers rolled had to be read out in 5 different languages.
English, Mandarin, Hokkien, Malay and Cantonese.
Most of them needed help with understanding when they won, so the myth that all old people can play Bingo, is a sham...

The best part of the whole thing was when they won.
You can really sense the joy they feel and you really, from the bottom of your shattered heart feel happy for them.
There were prizes of course, but I think what really made them smile, was the knowledge and proof that their happiness and existence matter.

I would go back again...
Really I would.
But the hardest part of going back would be...

Asking where a familiar face had gone...

Don't take life for granted.
It's fragile and very precious.
You only have 1 life to live...

Haha.. Really?

You Are A: Parakeet!

This popular bird is kept as a pet in homes all over the world. Originating from Australia, parakeets like warm weather and lots of seeds and fruit. They are also known for being messy and quite loud! But you cannot look at one without falling in love.

You were almost a: Monkey or a Puppy
You are least like a: Groundhog or a TurtleTake the Cute Animal Test!

Still up!

It's 5am...
There are no projects to complete...
No deadlines to meet...
Why the heck am I still up?

Argh.. can't sleep!

TVC

That stands for, or rather, used to stand for 'The Voice Company'..

It was off to Clarke Quay for the recording after watching Final Destination 3 with Neshie...

For the record, the show was a 2.5 out of 5...
I don't know.. it did not seem complete and well put together.
The dialogue..gosh.. it was there for the sake of being there, as in, it would be unnatural for it to be silent.. or, in other words, it was not important..
BUT
The show did leave me looking out for possible dangers when on the roads...
Hee..

The instructions I got on how to get to the TVC office...

1. Alight at Clarke Quay
2. Exit A
3. Turn right
4. Turn left
5. Keep walking till you see WineBos

Of course I got lost... well.. slightly...
It was along a row of those old-fashioned shop houses, the historical relic sort.
Here comes the dramatic bit...

It was getting dark.
Clouds blocked the sun from the land...
I looked up a narrow shaft and saw endless stairs before me.

I took a first step, praying that no roach of any sort would make an appearance before me...

Higher and higher I went, my only light source a naked bulb fixed upon the wall in front of me.

2 flights up, were some signboards with Chinese characters...
Now, I could not read those, but they had bodiless arms wielding swords as their trademarks...
Not the friendliest or most welcoming...

Then before me were 2 paths.
The right flight of stairs looked bright while the left flight looked dark and menacing...
Needless to say, I took the left one..
Upon going up this narrow flight, I began to doubt my choice. It was steep, it was narrow, it was suffocating...
I had no choice but to go on..
Honestly, I got a little nervous and giddy at this point in time and my hand phone had no reception...
I was imagining scenes from 'Final Destination 3' at this point, which was really not too pleasant a feeling...

3 flights on, it got brighter...
Then...
In front of me...
THE TVC OFFICE!
I was sooo relieved...

It's a small office and I had 7 pages to record.
The first set of pages were basically an introduction to the chat line...
"Hi! Welcome to Gossip corner.. ya da ya da..."

I got my directions from the 'Boss' who is an Indian man in his late 30s with a British accent... Only that accent became more Indian as he spoke...
"We need someone with an attitude, yet friendly and spunky... Firm but demure.."

Boy.. Did I have some work cut out for me..
I did my best and recorded the introductory passage to which they all (all 6 of them in the office) had a listen to.
Then they came in a circle, with me cornered (yea.. cornered in a circle! Hah..) and they did a short evaluation and agreed it was alright!
Thank goodness!

They took almost 1.5 hours to get the rest of the equipment up and test the voice over the phone line and such... then came the full recording, which in all honesty, is not as easy as it sounds.

I sat in front of a microphone, with a cup of water beside me and started to read.
Of course, reading with expression meant gesticulating with the whole facial expression to go along...
Was so incredibly embarrassed at first, since there were quite a few people in the office, but then I decided to 'act' and well... I think I was totally into the role of this funky lady bouncer (yea.. was trying to play that role), that I totally forgot their presence.
If I think I did not read well enough, I would re-read the whole paragraph.

The worst part of the whole thing was actually the 'compulsory and mandatory' reading, which is basically recording the various months in a year, numbers 0 to 99 and all the hundreds, millions... ish...alphabets included!
It was kindergarten all over again!

Got that bit done and honestly, with you concentrating really hard on enunciating, you might skip a month... haha...yes.. I did.. think I skipped September and went straight to November... :D
Kidding... I skipped September, but I did not forget October...

Anyway, the worst was counting from 0 to 99...
I felt like I was counting myself to sleep and had to fight to stay awake!
Way better than reading the phone directory to sleep...

Got everything done in 2 hours and went home...
Back down the dark and narrow flights of stairs.
I was holding on to the walls for fear of tumbling head over heels down those stairs!

Was so elated but felt so tired that I thought I should take a power nap (after I got home) but I never woke from that nap till this morning at 8am to call my Mom a cab, then heading back to dreamland till 2 in the afternoon!

OH k...
So that's done and I'm just waiting for the call to re-record anything they want...

Looking forward to a walk along the shore this Sunday at night...
It'll be nice...

Think it's accurate?

You Have a Sanguine Temperament

You are an optimistic person who is easily content. You enjoy casual, light tasks - never wanting to delve too deep into anything. A bit fickle, it's easy for you to change plans or paths when presented with something better. You enjoy all of the great things life has to offer - food, friends, and fun. A great talker, you can keep the conversation going for hours. You are optimistic and sure of your success. If you fail, you don't worry about it too much. At your worst, you are vain. You are obsessed with your own attractiveness. A horrible flirt, you tend to jump into love affairs and relationship drama easily. You're very jealous - which just magnifies the craziness around you.

What Temperment Are You?

Orange Peel Orchid

It's a little over a month after Chinese New Year and leftovers overwhelm the tables.
Sealed containers of pineapple tarts, sugar cookies, samolinas, nestle cookies...
Lots more I don't know the English names of.
It's time to finish it all up.
Whoever said that you gain the most weight during Chinese New Year?

Another thing left over... the countless Mandarin Oranges!
Only problem with this bunch, the get mouldy really easily.

I've got a few baskets of oranges left over, and they're the type to eat, not the types you use to make house calls.
The monkeys and other animals near here must be getting a whole lot of vitamin C in their diet, if you know what I mean...
I've been eating loads of the fruit too...
Just look at my thumb, and you'll be able to see.
My nail is tainted orange from all the peeling.

Ok.. I sat peeling an orange and watching a little TV when I realised that I had created a little work of art.
It was an Orange Peel Orchid!
Pretty!


Oh k.. it looks a little like an Orange Peel Angel as well...
Anyway, what I'm really trying to say is...
Take time to notice the small things in life.
If we were actors and actresses in Reel life, then these small little things are the details.
We can see the main story, the big picture without the details, but it is so much less interesting...

Yea.. take it from someone who's not too 'big' herself...

Can't get it out...

Left: Me
Right: Vinitha
Location: TCC Cineleisure

There's something about this picture that keeps it in my head...
Keep flipping back to this photo.
Is it the lights?
The attire?
The attitude?
Oh... I don't know...
What do you think?

Happiness is...

Happiness is...

When you are content and not in want of anything more than what you have in front of you.

So, does happiness equate itself to contentment?

It's quite subjective.

Spent today studying at SIM.
Quite honestly, today was productive.
Oh k.. so it got a little distracting at times, but with friends, it's fine!

I find it ironic that I can find happiness and peace with people I've just met, versus people whom I' ve known for 3 years.
I'm tried to understand it and all I could come up with was that maybe it's because of the team sport involved.

When playing a sport, you might be at your worst, at your most competitive, at your ugliest.
Your team mates do not judge you on how you look.
That's not going to help them win the game...
They don't even judge you on your skill at times.
What's important to them, is your team spirit and how much effort you're willing to put in.

I think that's endearing.

Relationship-wise, you know it's something special when you can sit silent with the other person and not have to talk.
You can physically understand the other person or just share an occasional smile, look...comment.
This applies to any special relationship, between girlfriends or guyfriends, or even between you and your pets.

Sometimes, even when you try to be helpful and care for the other person, it backfires.
It has happened more than once, no.. more than I can count this semester, and it's always with the same person.
I'm starting to lose faith in helping some people.
Sometimes, it really is just not worth it.

I need a morale booster...
I need my friends...

Clone walls!

Romantic Valentines' Day is here again, the shops play with prices and the people pay...

I'm not totally un-romantic.
Won't say that this day was a gimmick created by people in the retail business.

If you found love in someone else, treasure it.
Family love is just so different.I don't mean incest or anything..
I mean, family love is not really a choice.Found love is and that includes your close friends.

Oh...Right..Clone walls...
Practically everywhere I turned in public today showed couples, with the girl holding this universal bouquet and the guy in a shirt and jeans.Along the outside of the esplanade, couples equally spaced out on the continuous bench.

I know we Singaporean follow the rules and are a relatively orderly bunch, but this too?Hilarious!Should have taken a photograph of it.

What I did take, was a photograph of a cat.I seem to enjoy taking shots of cats don't I?
I guess it's because they're willing to stay still for a longer time than Dogs.
Prefer Dogs though...


This cat is like the resident cat of the overhead bridge near my place.
I thought it had died when I saw it in this position.
Then it started to twitch...

It was dreaming!
How cute is that?
Had half a mind to wake it up, but decided not to.
Its old. Probably would get a heart-attack if I did.
It looks a little like a dog though...

Right... back to the books...
S.I.M... here I come!

Again...

Mom is angry with me... AGAIN.

It all started with a phone call this afternoon with her trying to get me to sign up for a new plan and getting one of the 3G phones.
You see, the promotion is such that you buy a phone and you get another free.
She wanted me to spend over $250 to get that phone and give her the other.

Honestly, I think its fine.
BUT
I'm saving up for lots.
I get the same amount of pocket money as my YOUNGER bro and I pay my own way about.
So, $250, is not small a sum.

I politely reasoned that we could split the cost of the phone.
She got mad at that.
I mean, come on!

It's such a silly thing to get mad over.
Now it's basically weird because she'll be waiting for me to go apologise, which I'm currently refusing to do.
I don't see where I went wrong.
Honest.

Stiff huffing a little over it because she got Dad to talk to me about it.
To spare him from having to shuttle between us, I used my poker-face.

Why do so many teenagers have issues with their parents?
I understand the whole 'trying to be their own boss' part, but when we become parents, do you think we'll be the same way?

Raising a kid is not easy.
You have to be really flexible and patient.
I think my parents are too old school, the whole Confucius-era thing where the parent is always right and where children don't get rewarded for being good because it's simply expected of them.

What to do?

V-day tomorrow!
Going out with the girls!
Wonder what kind of trouble we'll be able to get ourselves into...
Cheers!

Want-to-do

"It's my life... It's now or never..."

Everyone was a to-do list...
I thought I should try a Want-to-do list.
The difference?
To-do somehow gives the whole list a time frame.
My list would not have that.

Here goes...

1. Pick up competitive dances
2. Learn a new language
3. Help re-build a third world country
4. Continue to add on to this list...

"I need you to sound sexy yet playful and enthusiastic..."
That's the line I got from someone I'm voicing a chatline for.
"I need a certain richness also"

I did it... well.. with loads of gestures and expressions in a mirror.
Going to do another recording...
Have to find some time alone somewhere.
Won't want to look like I'm flirting with the phone...

Off to the Middle Kingdon!

It's finally over!
3 years of tertiary education.
Done with! Complete!
3 years of intense study and hands-on experience for a piece of paper.

Oh k... If truth be told, I've got officially graduated.
Still got a law paper to take.
But at least all formal lessons are history.

It has not really hit me yet.
Must be the lack of sleep dulling my senses.

Today was beyond busy.
Worked non-stop since 8am in the morning.
Skipped lunch.. Actually, totally forgot about lunch.
Only remembered during broadcast.
Quite funny really..
Was reading a line from prompt when my tummy started to growl.
Was hoping the mic would not pick the sound up.
Actually, I was on a sugar high.
Seriously.
Devoured 2 tubes of 'Fruit tips' and a tube of orange mentos.
It's a wonder my teeth don't rot.

Well...
It's the beginning of another chapter in my life.
I'm grateful for all the lessons I've learnt from the last.
It's humbling and enriching.

One thing to look forward to is an internship to Beijing, China!
Essie-poo set?
Aunt Jessie offered to pay for air-fare and all our accommodations and food while in China.
For 2 months we'll learn from her.
She's a great lady, they'll be loads to learn and great stuff for the resume.
One catch... we will not be paid.
The only factor that I'm worried about?
LANGUAGE!
To say that my spoken mandarin is horrible is an understatement.
But I'm someone who plays by ear, as in..
If the people around me were to speak a certain language, I'll adopt and absorb.
Hence the accents.
Let's see if my mandarin improves after that stint...

Oh k... things to do...

1. Study for Law.
2. Re-decorate room
3. Study for Law.
4. Learn a new language.
5. Study for Law.
6. Get my driving license.

It's going to be an exciting time.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!
Smile!

Sadness

Sadness.
It's that sinking feeling of silent disappointment.
It's that quiet sorrow within you.

This word is used frequently everywhere.

Sadness is actually very diverse.

You can be happy when you're sad.
You can be angry when you're sad.
You can be disappointed when you're sad.
You can be depressed...

It's now a general word used especially when one is unable to pinpoint how they're really feeling.

So when someone say they're sad, how can you counter it?

I'm so confused now that even my conscience is confused.

Screw it

Don't mess with me.
Really.
Don't.
There is a limit to patience.

Freedom!

Felt so liberated today!
I'm free!
I live! I breathe!

Was finally happy after so long.
It was so refreshing.

Today kind of flowed along nice and smooth.
Spent lots of time alone, being happy being me.
It was in no way lonely, simply because I chose to be alone.
There's a big difference.
Go ahead and try it.
Try choosing to stay away from people you know.
Just for a few hours.
It makes time for yourself and space for you to do anything YOU want.

Went to see granny today and it struck me again how much she looks like Tweety bird's granny.
Pooie was the Tweety fan who first thought of that.
I owe granny a whole lot.
She practically brought me up.
Gave me my ability to speak Hokkien.
She made me believe I was smart.
She's always encouraging, no matter what.

The rest of this week is still going to be a packed one.

Oh! I finally got my floorball stick cleaned up.
The grip got so full of dirt.
It kept changing colour since the day I first bought it.
From a bright, luminous orange to orange, to dull orange, to grey and then to black.
I spent quite a bit of time, using a toothbrush to scrub the detergent onto the grip in small circular motions.
It got me results.
The grip looked so clean, but after 1/6 of the grip length doing the really tiring scrubbing, I lost my patience and basically used a towel to cover the rest of the length.
Hell.. it worked...
Need not have bothered with the toothbrush in the first place.
It was like choosing to use a toothbrush to scrub the toilet when you could have chosen the 100 times bigger toilet brush.
It's all clean and outstanding again.
Can't wait to get back to training and getting it dirty again.

I'm going to see a fortune-teller.
Just for the fun of it.
My only requirement..
"She's got to speak English"
The rest is up to my aunt.

Let's see how that goes...

I just can't smile...

I woke up crying today.

Can't even remember why.
Was it part of a dream that touched me?
Was it a reaction to the emotional mess I've been through lately?
Hardly know what to think.

Hate to play the blame game.
Have not talked to anyone about it.

I think I've met a dream-dasher.
Read about them, been cautioned about them.
Thought I was more than prepared to handle them.

No such luck.

Need to stay away from such characters.
It's never good for anyone.

Your friends are the ones who build you up.
So be very weary of those you consider friends.
Chose people who are good for you.
Of course, in return, you'll have to be good for them as well.

Maybe it's time for me to understand that what other people think is not important.
It's going to be a hard habit to break.
It's a learning process...
Deal with it!