And You Ask Why?

Half the time...
Things don't go the way we want them to.
All too often...
People make requests of us that we are relatively unwilling to meet.

I love being generous,
Just to share my joy with others.
I love helping,
Just to see the smile on another's face.
I love assisting,
Just to ensure that things run as close to perfect as possible.

Basically, I want to always be there for you...

But...
It gets really trying to be taken for granted.
Who wants to feel unappreciated?
Who yearns to feel unimportant?
Who hungers for the feeling of being ignored?

I know you need someone now...
I know no one else is available...
I know this is important for your confidence.

But

I don't want to feel what I don't want to feel either.
So...
How now brown cow?
Make do alright?

Flairing

5 Drinks... 1 Session
From left...

Hoegaarden, Singapore Sling, Red Wine, Uhm.. some cucumber&potato thing, Forbidden Apple and Tom Yam Martini

Goodness.... Got quite high, but not as high as if I drank some beer... (ps: Hoegaarden was Alvin's)...

Left B&J after closing around 12.30am...
Went on to Quarubar with Ed and Alvin, with the intention of only having ONE cocktail and watching them flair...
Ended up staying the whole night Flairing with them
(yea!! Till about 5.30am!!)

It's Brilliant fun!
I can do a few tricks already! (okok.. not perfectly...YET)
Looking around for empty alcohol bottles now...
Pass any you might have and might not want to me alright?

ps: does not have to be totally empty la... heh...

Gut-feeling

I used to be really good with following my gut-feeling about something...
You know... the whole... instinct thing..
Not only that, when I do follow them, more often than not, the decisions made, based on it, are right.
When did I start doubting myself?

It's not arrogance...
I'm always grateful for advice and open to criticism.

But...
I think it's high time my own opinions counted.
Time for a more confident and self-assured me!

Hell Yea!
I am Leo!
Hear me Roar!
(oh boy...)

Sometimes I Wonder...

Is everything really about passion?

Again, disappointment over my performance against NUS Callistans.
Was it a match I thought we could win?
Not really... but I thought we could still Draw.

Some reflections...
I started stretching, focused and confident, already visualising potential shots-on-goal and how I would move to save those.
I lost that focus during the 'goalie warm-up'.
I can choose to blame a couple of things that happened during that time where I might have lost it, but really... those are just excuses.
I should be mentally stronger than that.

Period 1
The team fought hard, stepping up to the ball-carrier and refusing to let them shoot.
We finished this period, tired, with no goals on both sides.

Period 2
This time, my loss of focus cost my team.
There was a slight tussle and a physical clash, resulting in 2 players falling.
I waited for a whistle that never came and someone took this opportunity to shoot.
When the ball slipped in... Honest to God... I felt so much anguish and regret, I wished that I could say 'One more time...One more chance... This time it won't go in'... just like in training...
But we know things don't work like that.

It was downhill from there, as my lack of focus showed...
I tried to psych myself up, but... I don't know...
It's really easier said than done to pull yourself out of a sudden confidence-shattering, heartbreaking moment.

Period 3
I think I played my best this period.
A couple of multiple saves at a time.
I think it had to do with the fact that it was the last 20 minutes to draw, at the very least...
We fought relatively hard, but honestly... we're just not quite there yet.

It was a very costly lesson.
My biggest fear... every single match... is to let in goals, obviously, but also, that I would disappoint my team.
That's why I'm working so hard as a GK.
That's why I'm going for runs.
That's why I'm attending other trainings.
That's why I'm trying to make as many matches, be it guys or girls, as possible.
That's why I've got constant questions for anyone who might be able to help.

Reality check...
I'm not physically intimidating as a GK, so, I've got to compensate.
How?
With speed.
With mental strength.
With flexibility (both physical and psychical).

I'm so exhausted... but I suddenly feel like I've got no right to be...
For those who have encouraged me so much.
It's helping...alot... Thanks.