Why?

CMM...
An outlet for creativity...

I'm afraid that's not true.
It's the total opposite...
It's where your uniqueness is very quickly squashed out and all that's left, is a shell of you.
It's like an alien organism sucking you dry and forcing itself into you.

This huge 'body', made up of many close-minded individuals who are very unforgiving.

I suffered greately at the hands of a certain one...

The rest of them never heard my side of the story.
I thought it would be petty and childish to make a deal out of it.
Apparently not...
I should have said something, should have stood my for myself.
It had never been pair-work...

I'm paying the price for not 'playing the game' now.
It sucks alot...

I'm not too sure where to go from here...
It's a chapter of my life I want to close, but I can't bear leaving the friendships in such tatters.
I'm at quite a loss now...

Je ne sais pas...

The 'Twisted' Game of Floorball

Alvin's Birthday BBQ...
There's Alvin himself half-standing on the left of the page...

Floorball as a game is fun...
Heck... it's the kick I get out of laughing during training and the matches that make it fun...

I made myself a promise, that as long as I have fun, I'll continue playing and stay neutral on any potential team-splitters...

Twisted my ankle during training...
Honestly... ironic thing is...
During ballet.. I never ever twisted my ankle... it was basically pointe-suicide to have that happen.
Then again... We did like 20 - 30 mins of ankle exercises before pointe...

Looking around for a good and nice-looking ankle-guard...

Haven't found one I like... so... I'll continue to search... before Monday's match against RP...
Yea... that outta keep me busy enough...

WWJD...WWJS

I've been struggling with this for awhile...

Church vs. Sunday-outings.

I thought everything was going swell, reserving a day a week with God, meeting in a sanctuary and singing with all of God's other children...
But really... the thought that 'one day for God is enough' has been causing me to not be as devoted on the rest of the week.
I still do quiet time every night...
I count my blessings and delight in every single one...
But now... this longing to spend Sunday outside Church is driving me nuts...

Usually, it's Church, then off to floorball training...
Now...
I wish it was 'Sunday-Outing' (preferably at a Beach) then off to floorball training...

When I asked my parents about it, they both of them promptly said, "How can you be like that? Sunday is for God... You know your priorities... blah blah..." (they would have continued had I not reminded them that neither of them has stepped into a church and sat through a service for the past 10 years...)

I've got no excuse...
It's just that I really want my Sundays free so I can use it for other activities.

I keep feeling all guilty about it, and I know what a 'modal Christian' would do...
I don't know...
Can't even pray about it because the guilty feeling will come back again...
But then again... the knowledge that God is in my heart and that he is therefore with me in any and every situation... is helping...

What Would Jesus Do?
What Would Jesus Say?

Damn... with the study of sociology... can't help thinking that we're socialised into thinking our answers to those 2 questions...

I Need the Beach...

I woke up with the smell of dust clogging my nostrils.

Yes...
The Haze is back!

In fact, the newspapers have been warning us about it for a week or so already...
It's getting so bad that if you like smoked meat, just leave the duck or ham on the table and you'll get your smoked meat...

I've been longing for the sand and the sea... The Beach

Actually... I've been wondering why I long to be near the shore.

Did a whole lot of thinking...
Then realised that the Beach is where I felt the safest, where my best memories were formed.
During my childhood, I spent almost every alternate day at the East Coast, going up to perfect strangers and making friends (nevermind that they were twice or thrice my age),
learning how to ride a bike from a guy my age (where are you now?), Mom or Dad bringing me out on their surfboard, letting me kneel in front of the board as they wind-surfed (the wind-in-hair thing really rocked)...

I miss those times...

Many things have been happening and I'm not complaining because it's all part of living a life..
But that's probably the reason why 'I Need the Beach'.

Where is the place you miss most?
Where did you have the best times of your childhood?
Where did you feel the safest?
Where is the place you would never get bored of?
Which is your 'place of retreat'?

Maybe it's time to re-visit that place...
To find yourself again, to re-charge...

What say you?