Some stuff from back then...

Feeling lost, so I thought I would take a glance back and try to recall the things I found amusing...

Here's a poem written when I felt kinda sad...

Some think it's just an emotion,
Some think it'll go away,
But those who have been through 'hurt' before,
Have never stayed the same.

Hurt comes in many forms,
No one more deadly than the rest,
It comes from anybody,
It comes with a zest.

You think you can avoid it,
Pal,
I'm sad to say,
You can only chose to allow it,
To take your sunshine away.

So just bear up and have some friends,
They always make things better,
They are like morphine for the hurt,
They're like bread and butter.

Of course, I did get my dose of morphine that day.

Lately, one person has been really difficult to please...
I wrote this in a fit of anger a while back.

A baby lying there,
Cannot do anything but stare.
The only 'words' it knows,
Don't make sense you know,
So you really can't be blamed,
For not answering to 'your name'.

A toddler walks,
But many still can't talk.
They only need a rattle,
Unlike adults who cackle,
So they really still are,
Quite easy to maintain.

A teenager they say,
Is at a most difficult age.
A handful for anyone, I'm sure.
But at least they don't yet have,
The authority to control,
They really are the controlled.

Then here it comes,
The object of this piece,
The one all others must obey.
Adults I say,
Are the most difficult to maintain,
Only because they think they are sane.

Therefore I must stress,
That not all adults are fair.
Some can be unreasonable too.
But I really must beware,
And even be swift to prepare,
Before an adult reads this and swears.

Anger works in your favour at times...

Aye.. what'sup Doc?

Munching on
* Carrot Sticks
* Cucumber Sticks
* Cherry Tomatoes
* Peanut buttered white bread

What's up with the tastebuds man?
Honestly...
Peanut butter and ham tastes good too...

Don't shy away!

People are so camera shy!

JB and I went filming for Broadcast Journalism today...

Topic: A Tsunami Story
Location: Tampines Mall (The field outside the mall)

We went at 1-ish, thinking that it would be a piece of cake and that we would be done by 3pm...
How wrong we were...
Sure, there were people donating stuffed animals, but when we asked them sweetly to spare us a few seconds of their time and just give us a statement, they laughed and declined, saying they look bad and all...
Well...
That should teach Singaporean a thing or two...
You never know whom you are going to meet out in the streets, so dress up!
We'll have better decorated streets that way...

Then, we came across a mandarin-speaking person, which is fine except that my mandarin is like my Greek!
OMG...
Felt so embarrassed...
I think she could not really understand me...
I gave that up politely...

Then came a little kid who looked interested in the camera.
I talked to him a little and cajoled him into granting me an interview!
If I thought that he would be vocal, I was seriously mistaken.
All he said was "Yea", before looking all over the place.
I think we spent about a minute and a half in utter silence on camera.
Waste of film I call it...

We finally got into hurried filming when it started to drizzle.
It was about 4.30pm by then!
Think about it!
Taking over 3 hours to film a 2-minute piece!

And we've got 5 such pieces to complete!
*Sigh*

Well... going to school to return the camera tomorrow...
Driving tomorrow too!
Stay off the roads at 4pm!
Also, pray I don't stall...

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Christmas came too early...

Christmas came too early this year.
There was not enough time to spread the good cheer.

That's how I truly feel Christmas was like this year.
It came up so suddenly, like an uninvited relative, very welcome, but a shock.

I guess it was the days running up to Christmas that was tough to deal with.

23rd...
The BIG day when the match with NTU was.
We played hard but not our best.
Lost the division 1 spot, but hey... if you would look at the glass half-full, we'll have more time to prepare and the B.L.A.C.K.S would be able to concentrate on the upcoming I.V.P better.
I played really little this time, even though I was sitting in my seat and raring to go! Slipped on court and strained that muscle... It hurt like someone left a scalpel there.
Dammit...
So disappointed with myself.
I'll take good care of that injury and make sure it never comes back!

24th...
Driving in the morning...
I actually drove myself to Ubi!
Ohk.. so I stalled like..twice..and held up traffic and all..
I tried and I plead a lack of experience...
It was only my second lesson...
Driving again on Tuesday...
Stay off the roads from 10.30am people!! (if you value your life..)
It was off to Godma's place where we traditionally have our Christmas eves..
It was good fun..
Had loads of wine and got quite high on it..
Kind of that mellow feeling where nothing can frazzle you..
Went to join the BLACKS at TCC at Holland V after 11pm...
Got there in-time for the gift exchange!
I got a Christmas bear..

Off to Wala wala where 'Unexpected' was performing..
The girl.. ROCKS!
Leader she is and that is beyond contestation!
Had fun, and then supper!
Got home at 3.45am, but its 2.45am to my parents!
*Phew*
I mean, if you're going to restrict me too much, expect a few white lies..
Well..
I ain't gonna educate them on that..

25th...
Happy Christmas and Merry New Year!
Just done with the maternal family party!
Not too bad, but kinda tiring...
I wish I could have invited more people!
The more the merrier!

Right...
All I can think about is that I can't believe that Christmas has actually come and gone and we're left with empty wine glasses and torn wrappers all around.
The tree is silently flashing like a camera would to capture a moment in time to treasure...
Frank Sinatra is singing in the amber-lit living room...
Rain is softly pattering outside...
It's no wonder we look forward to Christmas even though it's a brilliant gimmick retailers came up with...

I'm religious about Christmas, yes.
It's a time to celebrate life and salvation.
It's a time to remember that we received the greatest gift ever, even before we were born!
Now that's what I call planning ahead...

Enjoy the last hour before we have the next Christmas to look forward to...

Hate to feel like that...

Don't you hate it when you're not content and you have no idea what you're hankering after?
It's like leaving home with the feeling that you've forgotten something.

I pretty much spent today at home..
Unless you count Mom waking me up at 8am to run some errands for her...
I can't seem to satisfy her.
Well, recently, nothing anyone does can.

My Brother is becoming my sister...
Except that he has no hair for me to braid...
He's such a sissy! OMG!
Came into my room asking for those mandarin oil for tummy aches and all..
I gave him a different brand, and he refuses to use it.
Thinks it's going to kill him or something...
Rather stick to something he knows...
I mean, if you adopt that attitude for everything in life, how are you going to know if something else is better or not?

Honestly, my whole family is like that.
Whenever we go to Fiesta...
All 3 of them will order the teriyaki salmon meal...
I'll always have something different..
They stick to Royal Umbrella for rice and refuse to try any other!
Our supermarket conversations usually go like that..

Me: Hey! Try this!
*Hands over a different brand of rice*

Dad: This is not Royal Umbrella

Me: Yea! I know! Let's try something different!

Dad: Don't want. Royal Umbrella is the best!

Me: Have you tried the others?

Dad: No.

Me: Then how can you tell?

I really don't get them sometimes...
Whichever brand gets to them first, they'll probably be loyal and stick to it for life.

Oh Gosh..
So stifled..
Time-Out please!
Please...

Sunken Tummy feeling..

Floorball...
A Passion.
A Vice.

Got loads to say, but right now, all I can think about is floorball...
Everytime I think about the coming match, I feel caterpillars in my tummy..
I think on the day itself, those caterpillars will have become butterflies.
It'll be lighter in any case.

JB might be coming down to film it.
All for the sake of Broadcast Journalism.
We're having a hard time thinking of a second Hard News topic.
Not too much of a surprise why they call it 'Hard News'
Come to think about it, I've got another definition for it...

K...
Caterpillars are back...
Maybe I should starve them..
You know..
Stop eating vegetables...

Crushed...

I was honestly crushed when I got the sms that Essie had fractured her ankle.
All because of a friendly..

See...
We were playing against the non-too-gentle SP floorballers.
They pushed and shoved...
Sure, we did that too, but not to their extent.
Best thing...
Their referee was so 'blind' and so constantly distracted, that he missed so many fouls.
I mean, come on!
The last straw came when a certain player ungraciously pushed Lynn and pushed her again against the boards, refusing to let her even get up.
That was totally uncalled for and the Ref...
"I did not see.."

Well DUH...
U were busy talking to your friends!

Oh k..
Essie, my Bestie's injury...
She slipped on someone's blade.
OMG
Seeing her in tears was horrible..
I wish I could share the pain so she won't hurt so much...
I'm being selfish here..
I can't stand the feeling of seeing her in pain.

Anyway..
The swelling was so bad.
It was like she had breast implants in her ankle..
She's going to be in a cast for a month at least.

Don't worry buddy..
I'll be there when I can alright?

And..
You ain't heavy...
You're my bestie!

On the Road...

Finally!
Driving Practical lessons!

I got my first taste on the roads yesterday.
6pm - 7.30pm...
Peak hour traffic was not kind..
It was plain scary!
After about a round or 2 at a cemetery, Mr. Lim (my instructor) felt that I would be able to handle the road.
I was a wreak... no pun intended.
Traffic lights and oncoming traffic, U-turns and signals...
I conquered them all!

Oh k..
Driving is not that difficult and I urge all to get a license.

Sure you can save the money and use it for taking cabs, but having total control of your own vehicle...
Priceless.
I feel quite bad whenever people feel obliged to give me a lift anywhere.. (Of course, Dear Dad is not one of them)
Hopefully, I'll be the one giving lifts soon.

I'll have to see what vehicle my instructor drives...
I was so nervous that I did not even note that!
What a shame...
Knowing his car number won't hurt either! (Calls 4D booker)

Next lesson... Tuesday @ 2.30pm...
Those who value their lives...
Stay off the roads at Central Singapore!

Those Daredevils out there...
Wave, or punch that horn!

Your world...

It's 9.01am...
I'm in school.
Scriptwriting lessons start at 11am...
I've been here since 7.15am.

Why so early?
It's the bus journey that kills my day.
I would rather get up early and have a bit of breakfast with Dad before him dropping me off at campus.
This is something I would bring with me in my mind later in life, these quiet mornings spent with him, talking about perceptions and definitions, all subjective and objective at the same time.
It's funny really, how our points of view can sometimes be so similar and yet, at times, vastly different.
He, afterall, was probably one of the greatest influences in my value and moral system.
About why I drag myself out of bed at such an un-godly time again?
Hey... I get to save on my bus fare.

Had planned to bring Jeremy along to school today, give him something new to think about, present him with a change of scenery...
Turns out, he's not one to want to wake up at 5.30am...
Staying at home all the time is really not good for a growing mind.
He should read more.
Find out more about the facts of the world, then go create his own.

Have you ever seen a child go through a mental and emotional breakdown?
My Parents have.
They came to me after my floorball match last night, in distress.
About the match, we lost to NUS...big time.
It's not too bad.
We learn from every game played.
This way, our loss is also our gain.

Describe your ideal world to me.
Your perfect scenerio in this age and time.
I could probably tell you a whole lot about you from there.
Think hard and deep.
It's a valid question.

Parents...

I wonder how parents function.

As a young child, you probably thought they were the greatest, that they knew everything, that they were invincible, that they could and would protect you no matter what...
In other words, they were gods!

As the years go by, they start to lose their importance...
They're no longer gods... just demi-rulers...
They still pretty much control your world.
You're around 13 - 16 years of age at this time...

Once you hit 18...
Doors are opened.
You realise that your parents can't, or won't protect you.
You realise that you do know more about certain things than they do.
You might argue a whole lot more, as you wish they could remember the time when they themselves were 18...

Parents are really amateurs.
I mean, no one is born with the genetic imprint of a 'good' parent.
Even if even when your child has their own child and you have time to put into your parenting resume, you're really still inexperienced, simply because you can't go back in time and re-live your child's childhood.
Even if you have a football team of children, all of them are different.

They have their pride and their weaknesses...
They are allowed to be self-centred and lazy too...
Some parents won't allow it because they feel like they owe something to their children...

So conflicted now...

A bit of river at home...

I rememeber when I first got my tank, that the water-plant 'expert' said that no plants would grow...
Somehow, I refused to believe him and just got myself different types of water-plants to try out.
Thankfully I did, because my aquarium was all over-grown within a month and a half.
It got really messy, so I decided to re-vamp the tank.
I added a few neon tetras, rummy-nosed fish and a few golden tetras.
Planning to get a few guppies soon.

For the record, I dislike guppies, only because they get diseased rather easily.
But Jeremy put a long guppy into my tank because that was what he tried to 'rear' awhile back. It looks all weird and alone now.
Another one would be nice.

Fish-shopping with me anyone?
That's about the only kind of shopping I love to do.
Shoping for animals, that is...

Many people have different opinions on how an aquarium should look like.
Some like theirs looking artificial.
I like mine looking like I had cut a segment of a river and put it in my home!

I'll get a picture of it soon.. it looks so pretty now.
Maybe a few more plants at the back would be good.

Oh!
If you do get new plants, please let them sit in a seperate body of water for at least a day, just so you can rid them of any snails.
I neglected to do that and my whole tank was infested with those slimy freshwater vermin.
I'm not talking about the nice and cream coloured ones either.
I got rid of so many of them by keeping a container of saline solution next to me while washing the gravel.
Into the solution the unlucky ones went.
They just frothed and spat and pale green slime came out in a trail to the top of the solution.

I feel so guilty and mean...
What would you have done?

What's Next?

Right...

Created this page for the pure reason that this is my last teen year and I think that deserves some sort of record, just to show that I did live a 'life' and that I did exist, this little me.

I did have a previous page, but hey, it got lonely there. Let's see what I can do with page if time permits.

Meanwhile, while everyone is busy growing up and getting ready to create a lifestyle for themselves, here's something to remind us all that we were once children too...