Can't fight this feeling alone...

I'm troubled......

We've always heard that the way to handle your fears and troubles is to turn around and face them.
Of course, by saying that, it already means that I've got my back to those troubles and am all ready to run away.

All my life (I just realised), I've avoided situations where I'd be left feeling uncertain.
I would evade it or flee from it... Never really facing it.

If I'm not sure about something, I'd look up the dictionary, read books on the topic, ask about enough questions to drive even the most patient Angel crazy!
Only then will I even attempt to tackle the problem, but by then, since you know the topic so well, it no longer is a problem...

But as the years go by and adulthood creeps in nearer, you find that there are many many questions that can't be answered.

Those are the 'gut-feeling' questions.
Those are the questions we wish someone older and wiser had written a book on.
Those are the questions we might know the ideal answer to, but don't want to admit.
Those... are the toughest questions that dump us into the minefield that adulthood is.

Right now, I'm feeling lost, insecure, scared, confused, nervous......
Basically, I'm being a whining idiot (the whining I do is pretty silent except to a select few).
I'm feeling the way I absolutely hate to feel.
I know how to 'face' it, but I'm so so afraid of the answer.

I hate this feeling.